AROWS Bioethics congratulates Governor Sarah Palin

The Executive Director of Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome (AROWS) Bioethics Project announced the support of the organization for the nomination of Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin as the Republican Vice Presidential Candidate.

Flushing red and snatching this reporter's notebook to fan her suddenly perspiring face, the E.D. said, "We at AROWS have long anticipated the day that one of younger sisters could lead this Nation. For some of us, this may be the last chance we ever have to see a woman Vice President."

AROWS-al women "at risk" drinkers

While fanning herself with the notebook ripped from the hands of a startled young reporter, the Executive Director of the Women's Bioethics Center for Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome (AROWS)objected to the tone of reports that women over 40 are more likely to drink to excess than their younger sisters. "We have our reasons," said the E.D.

The BBC reports:

Women in their 40s are more likely to drink potentially harmful amounts on a night out than younger people, researchers in Cardiff have found.

While men's drinking peaked in their late 20s, women's alcohol intake reached its heights among the over-40s.

In a year, 893 people were breathalysed late at night in the city centre for the Cardiff University study.

It found 40% of men and 20% of women had drunk over a level which put them more at risk of injury and ill-health.

Researchers said their findings came as "something of a surprise".

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"We speculate younger women have more responsibilities at home, and once the children have left home, then the sky's the limit.

"But to be honest, we don't really know why."

He said underage drinking in the city centre late at night "wasn't really an issue".

"What was more surprising was that students, unemployed people, young adults, had lower alcohol levels than older people and employed people."

The AROWS spokesperson noted that all the researchers had to do was ask. The organization, dedicated to ensuring pre-, peri-, and post- AROWS-al women their "rightful place in the big tote bag of Bioethics," has an official ethics policy statement against public intoxication and excess of all kinds, especially the type that includes empty calories, excess weight and risk to delicate aesthetic surgery and procedures. However, a source within the organization who wished to remain anonymous noted, "And besides, we have more money than the young and unemployed. Heaven knows we have a hard time spending it on fashion, considering that most department stores only stock good design in sizes 0 to 10 and don't have anywhere near the same sense of style that they did 20 years ago. To quote my daughter in her younger days, 'DUH!'"

The organization has announced an initiative to gather data, including field research on the drinking habits of its members and peri-AROWS-al women across the U.S. The AROWS Independent Ethics Committee (IEC) plans to meet next week to review the protocol.

A.R.O.W.S. Women of Bioethics Online

The Executive Director of the Women's Bioethics Center for Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome announced the birth of a new Blog today. While fanning herself with the notebook whipped from the hand of a startled young reporter, the flushed E.D. renewed her organization's pledge to take it's "rightful place in the big tote bag of bioethics funding and activism."

While the organization has traditionally been tied up in the study of patterns of acquisition and use of estrogen to control pre-, peri-, and post- AROWSal symptoms, the E.D. stressed that women of a certain age have broad interests in other aspects of bioethics, including enhancement, regenerative medicine, and general health issues.

Age Related Ovarian Wastage Syndrome is the condition of all women who live long enough. It is a shame that this unique stage of our life is called "menopause."
Peri-AROWS-al women have always supported the practical applications of enhancement therapies, reproductive technologies, and longevity studies and medicine. While we keep a stiff upper lip, it is time that the public eye is opened in order to raise awareness of our contributions that go far beyond the purchase of hormones, aesthetics such as plastic surgery and botox, and pushing the age of childbearing to new limits. We have been the subjects of numerous studies concerning heart disease, osteoporosis, and the treatment of AROWS, itself.
However, we have not been given - we have not demanded - the same attention as a group that has been given to the prolife, prochoice, neocons, and progressives. It is past time for recognition of the considerable bulk of contributions to the field of bioethics.
We're your first wives and mothers, we know where the pill bottles are hidden!"